Death Studies

What is Death? What causes it? What can be done about it?
Most people die at some point in their life, and this course aims to look at how and why. From the plain old keeling over unexpectedly, to famous assassinations or killer diseases, Death comes in all shapes and sizes.

This course will give you the opportunity to get to grips with a real corpse, to shadow an undertaker for a week, maybe even to induce some killing of your own thanks to our foreign exchange programme. Students get the choice of going to the Netherlands to gain hands-on experience with voluntary euthanasia centres, or visiting the US to “press the famous button” on Death Row.

Gay Studies

Are you a Gay?
In this brand new Degree course we will be exploring every (back) avenue of Gayness. We will also be addressing common queries such as:

• Are Gays evil?
• Can a straight man be Gay?
• Can you catch Gay?
• What rehabilitation services are available for Gays?

We look at the phenomenon of Gayness from a religious angle, an historical angle, and a current social angle. From the YMCA to the Bumming Armies of Ancient Greece, we’ve got it covered.

Northern Studies

Ey-up, grab yer flat cap and let’s go down T’Pit!
The People of the North are a unique and special people. Despite the fact that they all have silly accents and less money than us in the South of England, doesn’t mean they should be dismissed off hand. As with other primitive societies, Northerners should be studied before they die out, or become civilised by the South. In this course you will study the brain structure of the Northerner (smaller and more primal than the Southerner); how to converse with a Northerner (slow loud speech is advised, along with simple words - avoid “grass,” “glass,” “brass,” - etc as mispronunciation of the letter ‘a’ can lead to confusion); you will also learn about so-called Miracle Northerners who have been raised as if from the South. Examples include Alan Bennett who, despite being from Leeds, managed to learn to write and even has a play to his name!

Psychology

No idea what to study at University?
Happy with your A-Levels but have no idea what your career path will be? Why not take a gap year. And then enrol as a Psychology student. It’ll kill time before you have to start making decisions. And who knows, you might learn about some interesting 1960s experiments. They did weird things with rats and electrodes and prisons. Good fodder for pub conversations.

Note: This course won’t enable you to analyse your friends and family. That’s just what your friends and family will constantly say as a hilarious joke.

Sociology

No one can ever truly be “right” about anything.
Except Sociologists when they assert this opinion. Believe us. We are Sociologists. Any other opinion is dictated to us by our society. Here in the Sociology Department we like to divide human beings into groups and present this fascinating data in all manner of graphs. Throw away any beliefs you might have about being your own person - you are the product of your race, colour, culture, gender and economic background. Are you interested in learning more about this vital Social Science? Why not devote 3 years of study to a subject based on the dubious philosophical stance of Moral Relativism?

Please remember: Degrees only have worth in our culture and have no innate value. Anything you may learn as a result of this Sociology course is merely the opinion of our society and should not be taken as truth. There is no Truth. Stop fooling yourself.

If you want to enrol as a Humanities student at the University of Konkerbury, simply pick the Degree of your choice from the list and send an e-mail to: cont...@konkerbury.co.uk, with your course name in the subject bar. Please include:

• Current qualifications
• A Personal Statement explaining why you would be an ideal student

WE LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING FROM YOU!