This text is replaced by the Flash movie.
Contact In The Press Guest Book
Humanities Sciences Social Sciences

Our Humanities Faculty acts as an umbrella for a diverse and exciting range of Degrees to suit your own individual academic needs . . .

A message from the theatre studies department

Hello darlings! It’s me - Persephone DeFlamboyeau!

Happy and Sad - two of the most challenging emotions to act out.

Yes, that’s right the Perspehone DeFlamboyeau. Star of stage and screen. Founder of the Hidden Stars theatre company (now in liquidation); next door neighbour to Christopher Timothy; ‘2nd Woman In Crowd’ in Enduring Love, and devoted lover of the proscenium arch, the spotlight, and the grease-painted muse!

By enroling as a Drama student at the University of Konkerbury you get the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity of seizing the wisdom and experience of a seasoned Equity-card-bearing professional like myself. In fact it is myself.

Over the course of several modules I will introduce you to the many theories of Drama (including my very own innovative and revolutionary theories). There will be regular workshops allowing you to truly “let go” and “find yourself” as an actor. This course promises to break down any preconceptions you have about Drama in order that you can seize your own Dramatic Energy and channel it into Pure Art.

Last term our Final Year students won critical acclaim (in the student newspaper) for their groundbreaking double-bill performance of Kafka’s Metamorphosis and Anthony Burgess’s A Clockwork Orange performed silently in a darkened room using only their eyebrows to hint at either plot or emotion - there wasn’t a dry eye in the house!

Yours Truly,
Persephone DeFlamboyeau
(signed photographs on request)


Journalism

Paparazi

You will study a number of modules specially designed to hone your skills to the modern media environment. Some modules include:

  • PANIC INDUCEMENT & SENSATIONALISM - Learn how to word an article, TV report or headline in such a manner as to send the nation into unnecessary panic.
  • JARGON STUDIES - Learn to replace ordinary English phrases or expressions with trendy corporate speak that makes you sound like an A-Class tosser.
  • CONSULTATION OF EXPERTS - Learn the art of presenting the biased views of dubious academics to the public as if it is the undeniable truth (it is vital you refer to these individuals non-specifically as “experts” at all times).
  • CELEBRITY HARASSMENT - students will pick a random neighbour and follow them/secretly photograph them/speculate on their love life or recreational drug habits/present their private lives in detailed Power Point presentations. These skills can become invaluable in later employment, when they can be transferred onto harassing celebrities or members of Royalty in order to pad out newspapers (or, in the case of some publications, entirely fuel them) and feed the insatiable gossip instincts of swathes of our decadent society.

Star Trek Studies

Dr Spock

A deeply serious and high-brow (to almost Klingon proportions) analysis of the philosophical themes of Star Trek; of its place in the Literary canon; of the life and teachings of Gene Roddenberry. We will also study (and contribute to) the steady development of technologies from the Star Trek universe. Lectures are held by Prof. Eric Gwent who insists the warp drive will be invented by 2012. This course guarantees instant kudos with future employers.

(By the way, when we said “Klingon proportions” we mean latter-day Klingons. Like Worf from Star Trek The Next Generation. Not like the Klingons from the original TV series. Obviously. I mean, it goes without saying really. The foreheads were utterly different. Sorry to state the obvious, but I didn’t want to look like an utter n00b - Eric Gwent)


Ultra Studies

Lovely Aspidistra

Ultra Studies has been left off University syllabuses for far too long and now it’s time to rectify that. This course covers all aspects of the Ultra, bringing in socio-political commentaries on the Mega, and the changing feminist viewpoints on the Uber. We will be looking at the dangers of Ultra-deficiency, at the reinvention of the Ultra, as well as Post-Ultra attitudes to consumerism, transvestism and marine biology.

If you want to enrol as a Humanities student at the University of Konkerbury, simply pick the Degree of your choice from the list and send an e-mail to: cont...@konkerbury.co.uk, with your course name in the subject bar. Please include:

  • Current qualifications
  • A Personal Statement explaining why you would be an ideal student

WE LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING FROM YOU!